Nothing ever really prepares you for the loss of a loved one—especially a parent. No matter the personal tumult—or tenderness—that you shared over the years, when that moment comes, you will react. For me, the feeling is one of mild numbness and, at the same time, relief.
I am definitely sad, but I am also resigned to the fact that the man I knew as my father is now gone forever. Gone, too, is his suffering. In death, it seems, he can once again possess for himself the dignity that had slowly slipped his grasp these last many months.
Looking back, I am grateful to have been able to go see him while he still possessed enough of his personal faculties and wit that we could communicate. Although we were never best friends, I know that he loved me and wanted the best for me and my siblings. I have no regrets about my relationship with the crusty old coot that I called “Dad”. I feel honored to have been of his loins and am relieved that he is now at rest.
Beannachd leat, Athair!